It can be difficult to bond emotionally to some people in particular those who are providing mental health services. I’m not talking about falling in love or having a crush on your provider. I am talking about that emotional attachment that comes from bonding when you let someone into your emotional walls.
That moment when over time you feel a closeness because they know more about you than most people actually in your life. It can be difficult and especially if you are like me a Bipolar who has difficulties with focus. It’s an amazing thing to feel when I am around someone who actually seems capable to both calm me down and at times keep me focused on the bigger picture instead of reacting to every small trigger that comes along.
Sometimes especially when I was in-patient that emotionally charged bodies of those around me can feel overwhelming and often I have no idea what is going on. At these moments having a person around who can help me focus is a big relief. But when the point of separation comes along letting go is yet another extremely difficult thing to master. Even to the point where you might say look at pictures of that person if you happen to find them online just to feel some relief not unlike that of a serious relationship breakup.
Even though you are not nor were you ever in love with this person but that emotional bonding has taken place whether you like it or not. And depending on the day or time etcetera it can be hard because to make things worse you open your mouth to the wrong person and the contact you might have been getting i.e. emails to just keep you in line just stop cold turkey.
There aren’t too many days that go by especially when I have to go to the place where she works at for other treatment and I can’t even attempt to see her unless I want repercussions that can be detrimental to my mental health.
No comments:
Post a Comment