Ever wake up wound up like a top because you were dreaming for an hour or so that kept spinning round and round till you woke up. Then you realize that at some point your body decided it is truly in need of the one thing as a Bipolar you often don't get, sex. I know this can of course fluctuate depending on your looks, area of opportunity, gender preferences, and willing partners of course even in a manic state we would never take by force something someone is not truly willing to give us on their own no matter what.
And for some of us there is a particular part of our preferred sexual partners that shall we say really turns us on. Same as for most men or women just sometimes this particular part of my turn on's can get out of hand and often affects a great deal of my social anxiety. I find it particularly hard to be around those who have this particular trait when I am or even when I am not what a former partner used to call "in heat."
I often cannot stop from staring almost like a crazy person without even realizing a lot of times I am doing it. And because of this I find myself hiding in my home acting like a mole or hermit wishing I was blinded so I cannot even see it anymore. And when you even dream about it and try to ignore it but seemingly cannot there isn't enough medication to eliminate this trait that I have no idea is part of my mental disorders or something I grew up to with. Although I do have a past where women when I was very young would often tease me with this particular part of themselves as if my turning three shades of red were hilarious.
Which leads to my other issue that suddenly I hit a certain age and was no longer as cute apparently which led to my being the guy most women were immune to my charms anymore.
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