Sometimes when I get triggered I am the reason and it pisses me off to no end when this crap happens, I get somber at the wrong times like today I have to see my shrink. I am more likely to say something I shouldn't when this happens and today it was all my dam fault. I got bored went into my "music room" at home and began to tinker on the keyboard and sing a bit with the karaoke machine.
This started a memory I had been trying hard to avoid for several months and each time it crawls back into my mind I get more depressed than most other times. You see I gave up on myself and my dreams after years of being beaten down by those who supposedly loved and supported me to the point where I only believed what they said as the "gospel" of me, and I quit.
I gave up everything that made ME happy and smiling about life, Music and Acting. The only two things I ever seemed to have a natural aptitude for or at least as far as the music was concerned according to others who know about these things I had a "Pure natural set of pipes." And I just let it all go, my dreams, my happiness and now near the end of my existence when most of me seems to be failing I am constantly thinking about that dream that got away...
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